Jean Grey's Bad Hair Day
A / N: Here's yet another fic I wrote for Roguemarix's challenge. This time, it was supposed to be centered around Jean Grey and involve a turtle, a can of spam, a burp and a bad joke. Here's what came out...
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It's been a long and eventful day for Jean Grey. Now she was finally alone in her room. Well, not exactly alone; from an aquarium settled on the table, a small water turtle was watching her every move with its big, round eyes. After pacing around the room quietly for a few moments, Jean stopped in front of the aquarium.
"Hello there, little fellow!"
The turtle's head snapped back a little, as if greeting Jean as well.
"Yeah, it's good to see you, too. How was your day?"
The turtle lowered its head. Jean nodded.
"Yeah, I see... Well, my day wasn't that good, either. Care to listen?"
The turtle nodded slightly.
"Okay, here goes. First of all, I woke up in the middle of the night, after having this terrible dream about me and Scott - uh, you don't want me to elaborate on that. Trust me, you don't. So I woke up in the middle of the night, and then I couldn't sleep a wink until dawn. Of course, Logan's snoring denied me even the simple pleasure of being alone with my thoughts. Whoever gave him the room next to mine is gonna pay dearly one of these days. I mean it."
The turtle probably didn't understand a word, but it nodded again nonetheless, as if asking Jean to go on.
"When I finally decided to go a little morning snack and I went downstairs, there was a nice morning surprise waiting for me. Can you guess what it was?"
The turtle shook its head silently.
"You know how the guys had a party last night. The fridge was absolutely empty, there was nothing left but a can of spam. And, being really hungry, I actually ate it, although I hate meat. More even, I ate it like I hadn't set my mouth on anything for the past two days. I guess I finished it in three minutes or so. That was my first mistake."
Jean sighed, then went on.
"I was just licking my fingers, when I saw Scott entering the kitchen. Now I was pretty shook up after that dream and being awake all night, so I guess I must've blushed. I thought of greeting him, but the instant I opened my mouth, a horrible burp came out instead."
The turtle made a face as if saying, 'I'm sorry to hear that'. Jean shook her head.
"I know, I know. So Scott laughed himself stupid, and just then Evan showed up, and he told him the whole thing. Then they both laughed. After that, Evan told me I'd be late for school. I checked my watch, and I found that it was really late. I practically raced upstairs, grabbed my stuff and ran the whole way to Bayville High. And when I got there, who do you think I ran into?"
Jean paused and rubbed her temples. The turtle watched her with interest.
"No, it's wasn't Blob, although today I wished it was him. I ran into Lance and Pietro. And Pietro said something like, 'Hey, Red, what are you doing here?' And I was so dumb I actually answered 'Going to classes, like any normal girl would.' Then Pietro looked at his watch, and Lance snickered. 'Geez, I didn't know that normal girls go to school on Sundays', Pietro said. And the horrible thruth was that it actually was Sunday."
Jean sighed again.
"Then, Lance offered to give me a ride back to the Institute. I was so upset I actually took it. He drove like a madman, but I didn't care the least about it. My only thought was to get to the Institute, kill Evan, beat Scott senseless, and then maybe grab some lunch and watch TV. When I told Pietro about it, he laughed his dumb head off and offered to help. I turned him down, but now I realize I shouldn't have. That Evan deserves a lesson, doesn't he?"
The turtle was now more than interested.
"Anyway, Lance actually was nice for once, and he dropped me off at the gates. Then Pietro asked me out. Can you imagine that? He said he had two tickets for 'Ice Age', and said that it would be nice if I came with him. I said I'd think about it. Then we all chattered some more. I found some pretty neat stuff about them. They don't like Mystique that much. In fact, don't like her at all, since she's so severe and all. The Brotherhood aren't that bad, in the end. And I guess Pietro really does have a crush on me. I keep thinking, who to choose? Pietro? Scott? Duncan? Or-"
"Oh, shut UP!"
Under Jean's astonished gaze, the turtle changed into a toad, leapt to the floor, then changed into Mystique.
"You!" Jean immediately took a defensive pose, but Mystique had other things in mind.
"I can't take it any more!" she shouted. "I come here, to gather information about the X-Men - and instead I hear about your puny little problems. And that the Brotherhood hate me. Fine! I don't have to take this! I'm nobody's pawn! 'Go there, find out as much as you can', Magneto says. Sure, it's easy for him to talk and boss me around all the time. Well, no more! I'm out of here! And if you see Magneto, tell him that he can go shoot himself for all I care. Good bye!"
With that, Mystique turned into a raven, then flew out through the open window. Jean stared after her for a few minutes, then sighed. "I need an aspyrin", she concluded, then went to search for a glass of cold sparkling water.