Chapter 1: A Few Reasons NOT to Join the Brotherhood

Disclaimer: No, I don’t own it for crying out loud!
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Wanda grinned EVILLY as she put down the paper. *The fools!* she thought *They let me get my hands on this! Now I know that I’m all powerful! I must find Pietro...* And so Wanda set out to find her twin, which wasn’t all that hard seeming as they lived in the same house. Well anyway, she walked into the room and casually handed him the paper entitled “The Theory of Wanda’s Powers.” After he read the first few paragraphs he decided that his life was in grave danger and sped (I mean that literally) off to who-knows-where and was never seen again.
Now Wanda, being the sick, twisted, warped, disturbed, demented, frenzied deranged, odd, weird, abnormal and not-mentally-well person that she is, thought that making her twin brother petrified out of his mind was very funny. She showed the paper to Todd who just smiled sweetly at her and said:
“That’s great sweetums! I’m so glad to be close to such a powerful-” but he never finished his sentence because Wanda used her powers to fling him into a wall, knocking him unconscious. Then, she took a big box (which was only there because it had been used to ship 50 Barbie Dolls to Lance and Mystique, who play Barbie and Ken once a week), and stuffed Todd’s body into it. She quickly ran to the post office and shipped it to a university specializing in biology so that the teachers could save money on amphibians when it came time for the dissecting project.
Felling great satisfaction in torturing the person who loved her most in the world, Wanda decided to go after Blob next. Unfortunately, she was unable to do this as Blob was already dead. The story goes that he really wanted to learn how to fly, so he built a pair of wings identical to the ones Elmer Fudd hued on a Looney Toons episode. Apparently, he was to stupid to realize that:
A) Elmer Fudd is a looser and if he built wings they wouldn’t work
B) Wings like that never work anyway, weather in cartoons or the real world
C) Even if they did, Blob his to hideously fat for the wings to support him.
But I think it was already obvious that Blob is (or was) stupid. Anyway, not all hope was lost, as Wanda could still torture Lance and Mystique, who where upstairs playing Barbie and Ken at the time. Laughing maniacally, she marched up the stairs a decapitated all of the Barbies because it was mean and Barbies are scary things anyway.
“NOOOO!” Lance cried. Mystique looked at her furiously.
“GASP! Wanda! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!?” Wanda just laughed maniacally again and handed them the piece of paper. After reading it Lance looked up.
“All powerful as you may be” he said “Barbie shall be revenged!”
“Oh Ken!” Mystique moaned as Lance led her away. And Wanda laughed maniacally AGAIN because I love maniacal laughs and I control her.
Now terrifying, killing and destroying the lives of her teammates was fun and all, but Wanda was eager to use her power to the full extent...

To be continued... (wasn’t that just a great cliffhanger?)